Home

So today was a "solo" day here at my place, and I realized something. I like my place in LeGrand, I need to be around every now and then (I do pay rent/utilities/cable/etc.), but dang do I miss the company of my girlfriend here. Nothing is quite the same without her. Take a little event like eating tonight. Even though we don't always cook together and can sometimes be indecisive about what to eat, it sure is better than me running to Cissy's to get a mini-pizza alone!

I will be heading home to Algona later this week for Thanksgiving. It is a good holiday, one I like, but tend to not get to celebrate because of basketball. I mean, the holiday is a short one with a short break from school, and then scrimmages or practices get thrown in. It is one of the biggest reasons I cannot be a head basketball coach, let alone be an assistant for much longer. I value my time and would like to celebrate the holidays a little more. Maybe in the future I will attend a Black Friday Iowa v. Nebraska game, or just Black Friday shopping. I mean, getting up at the crack of dawn to go shopping isn't really my cup of tea, but if an awesome deal is being held on a new big screen tv to give me a second one, I'm all for it!

I see many people on my Facebook feed updating their statuses on a daily basis to state what they are thankful for. I don't participate in this phenomenon and do notice some stretch an awful lot to make it to "Day 20," but would like to say that I feel as if I'm a very lucky man who has a lot to be thankful for. A beautiful girl has walked into my life and I am very thankful for her and how she has made me feel. My family who always supports me. My friends from high school to current who have provided great times. The fact that I have a job, it may not be perfect, but I've met good people in it and it provides me with means that many don't have. My health, especially when a broken foot as really been the largest of my concerns!

Hope all have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Blue Topaz Ring

Well, seeing how it has been four years since I last blogged, I think my audience size is probably down to one. Luckily for me, that's the one person I want to be reading this.

Life is always changing, and mine has drastically since my last entry. I've finished my Master's Degree from Drake University- I saw some of my old posts referring to the fact I was just starting. No more driving to Des Moines multiple times a week for class. I have also turned 30!- good thing is I've found that age is only a number. I certainly don't feel 30. And last, but certainly not least, I have met someone very important to me. As I re-read some of my previous posts, I found a couple referring to my search for the "one." When I think back to that time, I can only think of the old adage that "good things come to those who wait."

I still am always busy with school...that hasn't really changed, but now I love the fact that someone is there for me after each day- whether we see each other, or just communicate via text/calls/Facebook- it has become easily the best part of each day.

What is more exciting than that, is the thought of us together in the future. Whether it is thinking of next month, next year, or next decade, our future is ours to make!

In conclusion, I wrote a little diddy that should be sung to the tune of "Red Solo Cup" Love you!

"Blue Topaz Ring, it'll make you sing, honey I love you!!"

Ahhhh March

So recently in Iowa we've encountered some crazy weather. My school was closed Monday and Tuesday last week with a power outage due to ice and wind. Wednesday we made up a staff in-service. Thursday we had four hours of school before letting out early due to a second storm system. Friday school was canceled again. Needless to say it was interesting getting back into the groove after a very long time off.

With this crazy weather hopefully behind us I took stock in what I really like about this time of year. Any teacher will tell you that Jan. and Feb. are the WORST. Bad weather, restless cabin-fever kids, no breaks scheduled, and for me with basketball a VERY busy schedule. Now I find myself marveling at the sun staying up past 6 (even if just barely). I discover that I have free time and a "life." I also get excited because the best time of the year according to the sports calendar is upon us! I love March Madness. Love it so much that I got granted my day off today to head to Chicago for the Big Ten Tournament. Next week we have a scheduled day off because of conferences on the second day of the tournament. In other words a lot of basketball will be watched in the next few weeks.

Basketball isn't the only reason I like March. I have always found the quote "Hope Springs Eternal" to fit this season well. Things are growing again, including my passion both personally and professionally. I can get caught up in the doldrums of winter and catch the "blues." But spring always zaps me back to life. I had one of those moments that brings the excitement back to me again today. Other teachers will understand this more so than the non-educators who read, but a former student who now attends Wartburg (Go Knights!) was in the office as I went in there before leaving today. She excitedly told me that she had hoped she would run into me at the school because she "just loves politics now." She is even helping with the First in the Nation project, bringing political speakers to Wartburg and using Internet streaming to broadcast these speeches to New Hampshire (first primary). I was excited for her, to find a passion with politics within her major (communication arts). I see 150 students per day and some give me major headaches, but it is moments such as 4:30 this afternoon that makes those headaches feel good sometimes.

I Think...

One of my favorite television shows is WHO-TV (out of Des Moines) Sports Soundoff on Sunday nights. I hope they send me something cool for the free plug. Anyways, they have a segment called "I think..." where the two hosts just ramble on about their thoughts (sports/entertainment/whatever). So in the same manner, here I go: I think...

That weather is an amazing thing. We've just survived quite the late winter storm here in Iowa and school has been cancelled for tomorrow with the large possibility of a few more days because of downed power lines. Here we live in 2007, have all this great technology, and a storm can wipe that all away. It can change the way we communicate, the way we interact, and the way in which we take care of ourselves. Mother nature is truly something to behold.

That I can't believe it has been SO long since I last blogged. Every time I take a long lay off and come back I promise to be better at it only to fail. I can't make any promises, but basketball is over with, and I've found a groove with my graduate classes this semester so time will be available. I will still probably find a way to let my loyal readers down though. For that I apologize.

That I have a tough time balancing things. By that I don't mean getting things done or keeping up with work or class. I mean I have a tough time balancing personal life and career life. I spend so much time with work that I leave little for myself and sometimes want to lighten my load. I don't have many (if any) friends outside of the school system and am not really affiliated with any organizations here (Church, YMCA, etc.). When I really think about lightening my load (aka maybe resigning a coaching position, dropping my early morning class, etc.) I just can't do it though because I am connected at the school. It is a part of me. If I give that up, what is there right now. So I'm stuck in my own Catch-22

Reading and watching movies are very relaxing, mind-opening experiences. If I were famous and made one of those "This is my anti-drug..." commericals, movies and books would be it. I'm currently reading Kitchen Table Wisdom (for a class) and enjoy it, but I am open to any suggestions on future books. I'm looking at Barack Obama's book. Now I know what you are thinking..."mind-opening? Talladega Nights?" No, not every movie is "mind-opening" only the deep thinking movies or well made ones. But even Anchorman and Talladega Nights serve a puprose. They are cinematic anti-depressants. You have to laugh, pretty much forced to.

That I'm out of ideas tonight, but it feels good to blog again. Good night.

Shaking off the Rust

Two posts in one month is some sort of record for me, especially lately. Heck, I've even given the ole blog a facelift.

As my first full semester of classes at Drake University ends, the work seems to be adding up. Today I was writing a reflection paper on the Cognitive Behavior, Reality Therapy, and Feminist Therapy theories. Sounds exciting doesn't it?!? It was once said to me that those who enter the counseling field often times need counseling themselves. Well duh! Counselors, whether Mental Health, Community, Disability, Rehab, School, whatever are HUMANS! The same family, personal, career problems that any regular joe faces are also faced by a counselor. At the age of 25 and maybe on the verge of a "quarter-life" crisis, it has been helpful to be reading on some of these counseling theories.

I have written on here before about my lack of confidence in areas. How I look at other people and instantly put myself down. That is what Cognitive Behavior Therapy (or CBT) is all about. I have a negative thought pattern that developed somewhere/someplace in my head...irrational thoughts they are called. I do let them limit me and I let them see myself as a 19-20 year old who doesn't know jack instead of a 25 year old who is a good teacher and in graduate school. I believe these irrational thoughts make me a sometimes uneffective worker. I don't mean not getting papers done or whatever, but just general things. For instance, today I needed to take out my garbage and it took everything in me to get up and do it. Just weird things like that.

So what is one to do in this situation? First, recognize that other people are just that other people, other humans. They go through the same things I do. Take a little time for myself along the way. Not something that needs to be changed, but it makes me feel better is working on appearance...ironing more, cleaning up better, working out more. I've also got into the habit of making lists. I did this when I lived in Chariton and found it very effective. I list everything I want to do in a day/a week/a weekend and crossing things off feels great. I write these lists with one thing on there that NEEDS to get done, a couple really small tasks, and one that doesn't need to get done yet so in case I don't get it crossed off it isn't a big deal and I can accept that. Also, blogging. I know my rants may make me seem like a headcase too much, but they give me a chance to vent. A chance to shake off a little rust and feel new again. Thanks for reading!

Get a Life!

Wow, it has been forever since I've "blogged." Why am I back now? What super natural force has beckoned me? Well it is actually quite simple. I was looking at a friend's blog and noticed he had a link to mine on the side. I figured if my name is more "national" now, that I best be updating and providing something of substance.

Well, I've been quite busy recently. Teaching 150+ kids a day, going to Graduate classes every Monday and Tuesday night, and coaching Cross Country in the fall and now Basketball. Here is a typical day for me recently. Let's take a Tuesday/Wednesday combo. I go in at 6 am to lift with a co-worker of mine. Shower and be back at school in my room at roughly 7:40. Bell rings at 8:30 to start the day. Twenty minute lunch sitting with 100 students. By 7th and 8th Hour, I am drained. Get in the car and drive an hour to class. End class at 7:50, drive the hour back home. Eat, go to bed. Up at 6 on Wednesday morning, in my classroom at 7:30. Go through the day. Late practice this week so I stay at the school and check/plan/do paperwork until 4:45. Practice begins then and ends at 6. Coaches discuss the day's practice, I go home and eat. It is now past 7 and I need to be at at 5:30 to lift on Thursday morning. I know what I'll be giving thanks for on Thanksgiving and that is a couple days off!

Honestly, I'm keeping up alright. Some times papers don't get checked right away, and some times I have to procrastinate on writing papers a little longer than I would like. But I'm doing it. There is one problem though. I feel as if I have no life. My day's activities are of my own choosing and I like teaching, I'm learning a lot in class, and I just can't really see myself giving up coaching, but where is time to kick it with friends, find a girl, see a movie, establish myself. I would love to get a dog, but the poor thing would never see me. If I could get out, maybe I would find a girlfriend, but then she wouldn't know what I looked like after a couple weeks. Maybe I just need to take a deep breath or two and realize that these will be a couple rough years, but once classes are done things will settle down a bit. Maybe I do need to consider what priorities are right now. Maybe I need to grow up, quit being selfish, and realize that I went into a profession that demands all of me. Possibly I should look at the other teachers and see how they balance family and work. Possibly I need to manage my time better (I do admit this as a fault). I do know that I just need to "keep on keepin' on" (thanks Joe Dirt) and have faith that "my life" will eventually just fall into place.

Deep Thoughts

Jack Handey's deep thoughts have long been a favorite of mine, but this particular blog only has the title in common.

Life is a changing again for me. Fall is here, school is starting, and questions keep popping into my head. School started last week (Monday the 21st)and this year is yet another first for me. This is the first year that I'm not the new guy. I'm not learning the ropes of a new school or the faces of co-workers and students. It is nice and I prefer it that way, but definitely different not being the mysterious new teacher.

Another chapter of my life begins tomorrow too. Graduate school. Okay, so technically it started this summer when I took an online class, but tomorrow is the beginning of my actually going to Drake every Monday and Tuesday. I think I'm up for the task but I'm not going to lie- I'm a little nervous. The time demands could eat me alive. I guess it is time to really prove to myself what I can handle though. Wish me luck.

I went to a friend's bachelor party this weekend and had a blast. Went canoeing (is that the proper spelling?) and camping. I started wondering on the way back what would be something fun and different to do for my bachelor party when that day comes. Maybe a road trip to an Iowa Hawkeye road game or something. Whatever it is it will have to be big, seeing how I will be like the last of my good friends to be married. Now before I move on I need to throw in this disclaimer: I hold no grudges against friends. I'm happy/overjoyed that my friends have found such wonderful women, seriously. I do wonder sometimes why I haven't been as lucky. I've heard the ole "your day will come, just be patient, she's out there" line 100,000 times. While it is true and I do believe that someone is out there for me, I have really started to question myself a lot. I've come to two conclusions about myself and relationships:

1) If someone likes/is interested in me, I find flaws in them. They will have a physical flaw, they are untimely, they talk weird...whatever it is. A song by one of my favorite bands, The Fray, comes to mind here. A line states that "maybe you want her, maybe you need her, maybe you started to compare to someone not there." Why do I do this? I don't know. Maybe I put myself up on a pedestal I don't deserve to be on. Maybe I start to wonder if this girl is actually crazy because she wants to be with me. Maybe I'm just afraid of starting a real relationship because a) I haven't had a real one for a long time or b) I'm afraid that in the end I will end up hurt.

2) If there is someone that I really like, things sputter out fairly soon. Either I don't have the cajones to keep things going or take the next step- again out of fear of being hurt or losing a friend/changing the landscape too much or I immediately take a defeatist attitude thinking that there must be someone better for this girl than myself. Whatever the case is, the next step is rarely taken.

Now I must admit that it isn't abnormal for a 25 year old to be single. Despite having a lot of friends married and into the next stage of their lives, I have plenty who are in the same boat...so this isn't really a comparison thing. What does bug me is my line of thinking. Or the fact that I am beginning to understand how I tick when it comes to me flubbing up a relationship and just can't fix it. I need to accept a couple truths. A) In love, you will be hurt eventually...but the payoff for that risk far outweighs the possible negative. B) I am a better person/better looking/more interesting than I think I am. Being down on one's self rarely helps with the opposite sex. C) As The Fray song says at the end, "perfection will not come" and by looking for a movie/television type relationship "maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another."

Well, hopefully that wasn't too deep for my readers- but I consider my "fanbase" to be pretty well educated. One step down in understanding me and relationships. Now I just need to figure out how to put things into practice.